Revealing Ride

Preface...CNN reports that a red line train in Boston became a "pantless" ride. Literally, there was news footage of everyone on the redline train sans pants. men in tightie whities, women in the equivalent panties etc...

Remi to co-worker: So you know we are getting the light rail here in Phoenix. Perhaps...

Co-worker who rudly cuts me off: Hell no. I can already tell you that I am not dropping my drawers to get on the light rail here.

Remi: But you never know, it could be exhillerating

Co-worker: Well maybe if you call me up at 2am I might be down. 2am on a Friday or Saturday night anyway.

Remi: Deal, when the light rail opens I'll give you the call!

Random employee at work who overheard: You guys are just sick

Remi: Its taken you this long to figure it out!

AL

Remi: Hey Vogue, I just called to give you a warning.

Vogue: Really, about what?

Remi: Well you can never visit Virginia! I just found out that anallingus is against the law in Virginia ((thanks Roxy for the 411))

Vogue: Seriously, then I should probably never even visit there.

Remi: Don't worry I don't think anyone will be able to find out....I mean unless you drunkenly blog about it or get drunk and just blab it to everyone out there.

Vogue: Well there goes my plans for summer vacation.

Vacation is the time to live in RRT*, rock and sing out loud, and lose money in Atlantic City!

But alas, a return to reality must occur. And that reality contains the dreaded four letter word - WORK.

In keeping with the spirit of Roxy and Remi's holiday season in which they named things that are Awesome and Not Awesome (gang-bangers in Bedazzled shirts =Awesome; $10 beers = Not Awesome), I will now enumerate for you ten of the many reasons why Work = Not Awesome.

1. No mimosas in the staff lounge.

2. Putting a quarter in the slot machine in the women's bathroom doesn't yield a delightful ting-a-ling-a-ling sound nor cherries on the pay line.

3. No Karaoke Revolution Dance Party, Sing Star, or random outloud singing.

4. In order to get here on time, bedtime needs to occur before 3AM and wakeup needs to happen before noon.

5. People who stop by the office aren't here to bring free booze.

6. Roadtrips have been reduced to commuting to and from the office.

7. "Holy Fuckin' Shit" isn't considered to be a scintillating sum-up of social dynamics in the office.

8. People actually expect me to give a shit about their problems.

9. At 3:00PM, when it should be time for a nap, there is an important meeting in which I'm expected to report on the successes of my department.

10. Duh, it's WORK.

and bonus, Number 11:

11. At work, we are In Reality Time, not Roxy & Remi Time. This means that even though we both feel like we've been at work for 4 hours, only 15 minutes IRT** has elapsed.

Holy Fuckin' Shit.


*RRT - Roxy & Remi time
**IRT - in reality time.