One, Two, Three, Floor...

Roxy: The next time I drink tequila, remind me that I don't fucking drink tequila!


2009 Breast Cancer 3 Day

Help me reach my goal for the Arizona Breast Cancer 3-Day!

Yep, thats Right its on again!!
Words cannot even express how wonderful the 3 Day walk was this last November. Outside of blisters from...well waaay down stairs, this is an event created for Remi (n hopefully Roxy this year!)
Why you ask...again its simple:
  1. You get to skip work for a few days
  2. You get to hang out with your friends for those days
  3. Free food
  4. Crazy fun people in costumes..like boobie rangers, pirates, can-can girls etc, hydration hookers, Disney, spies....
  5. Powerful stories from people all over
  6. Tears & side splitting laughter ("Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion"-Steele Magnolias)
  7. Firemen!
  8. The whole weekend is dedicated to helping others
  9. You get to make new friends!!
  10. Karaoke & dance parties every night!!!

Bottom line, why not. Even the Olympic, Run Fat Boy Run-like blisters were totally worth it!!

So this year I again will walk. I may be called stubby, Arizona's first dual stump pirate, but all you have to do is watch a 3 Day from the sidelines to understand. I gladly give my heart & feet to the cause & I hope that all of you reading this will help to sponsor me again!



ps....the team name this year is up in the air. I wanted team Super Boobs...but my brothers want to walk as well & they don't seem to want to be called a boob...hmm...I'll have to work on them :) in the mean time, support & team name suggestions are welcome!

pss...some pics from the '08 Breast Cancer 3 Day


Work Out

Baby Momma: You know...its just not the same down there. All the stories are right!

Remi: You know you can just do a few Keigels to help remedy that...wait...ooh thats 10!

Baby Momma: Very true...look, I just did 3 reps while we are talking.

Remi: Next you should by a freeweights or a dumbell. You'll need to be careful though when you increase the weight...don't want to hurt yourself

Baby Momma: ooh..I think I just pulled a muscle

Remi: We need a doctor...STAT!!


Happy Birthday Roxy!!!

Remi: Happy Birthday Roxy!!

Here's to many more years of bringin Sexy Back!!!


Hot Shit

Oh dear Baby Jesus!!

Its already 98 to 99 degrees here & I get sick with a fever of 102...

Remi: I'm actually hotter than it is outside!

Remi's Dad: Well how do you feel?

Remi: Like shit...literally...well actually more like liquid poo...but you get the point.

Remi's dad proceeds to hand her a bottle of Immodium....Remi then reads the label...

Remi: Dad...how do you know if your squirts have mucus in them? The label says I shouldn't take them if it contains mucus.

Remi's Dad: I'm sorry I gave you the Immodium

later the next day when speaking with several people to explain my absense from work and life...

Vogue: I'm sorry you're sick. Thats Crappy.

Remi: Seriously you're going to say its crappy?

Vogue: laughing...uh yeah

Remi: Well at least I lost about 10 pounds

I can't remember who I said this one to...it may have been my doctor...

Remi: Maybe I can write a book and call it the shitty diet. Just add heat and simmer.

now that I think about it...that last comment was made to my doctor. hmmm...


You Go Girl!

This is a post to all the world to let you know that Remi, yes that other goddess of the SheSpeak blog, has gone back to school!

And I think that deserves a big, fucking


right here on the Internet.


Revealing Ride

Preface...CNN reports that a red line train in Boston became a "pantless" ride. Literally, there was news footage of everyone on the redline train sans pants. men in tightie whities, women in the equivalent panties etc...

Remi to co-worker: So you know we are getting the light rail here in Phoenix. Perhaps...

Co-worker who rudly cuts me off: Hell no. I can already tell you that I am not dropping my drawers to get on the light rail here.

Remi: But you never know, it could be exhillerating

Co-worker: Well maybe if you call me up at 2am I might be down. 2am on a Friday or Saturday night anyway.

Remi: Deal, when the light rail opens I'll give you the call!

Random employee at work who overheard: You guys are just sick

Remi: Its taken you this long to figure it out!



Remi: Hey Vogue, I just called to give you a warning.

Vogue: Really, about what?

Remi: Well you can never visit Virginia! I just found out that anallingus is against the law in Virginia ((thanks Roxy for the 411))

Vogue: Seriously, then I should probably never even visit there.

Remi: Don't worry I don't think anyone will be able to find out....I mean unless you drunkenly blog about it or get drunk and just blab it to everyone out there.

Vogue: Well there goes my plans for summer vacation.


Vacation is the time to live in RRT*, rock and sing out loud, and lose money in Atlantic City!

But alas, a return to reality must occur. And that reality contains the dreaded four letter word - WORK.

In keeping with the spirit of Roxy and Remi's holiday season in which they named things that are Awesome and Not Awesome (gang-bangers in Bedazzled shirts =Awesome; $10 beers = Not Awesome), I will now enumerate for you ten of the many reasons why Work = Not Awesome.

1. No mimosas in the staff lounge.

2. Putting a quarter in the slot machine in the women's bathroom doesn't yield a delightful ting-a-ling-a-ling sound nor cherries on the pay line.

3. No Karaoke Revolution Dance Party, Sing Star, or random outloud singing.

4. In order to get here on time, bedtime needs to occur before 3AM and wakeup needs to happen before noon.

5. People who stop by the office aren't here to bring free booze.

6. Roadtrips have been reduced to commuting to and from the office.

7. "Holy Fuckin' Shit" isn't considered to be a scintillating sum-up of social dynamics in the office.

8. People actually expect me to give a shit about their problems.

9. At 3:00PM, when it should be time for a nap, there is an important meeting in which I'm expected to report on the successes of my department.

10. Duh, it's WORK.

and bonus, Number 11:

11. At work, we are In Reality Time, not Roxy & Remi Time. This means that even though we both feel like we've been at work for 4 hours, only 15 minutes IRT** has elapsed.

Holy Fuckin' Shit.

*RRT - Roxy & Remi time
**IRT - in reality time.


Compass Companion

Remi: So they are calling this movie [The Golden Compass] anti-Catholic because the soul of each person is manifested as an animal companion?

Dad: said while pointing at the dogs Are we anti-Catholics then?

Remi: Well that depends...are you a licker (pointing at Mia) or are you a barker (pointing at Sadie)

Dad: Forget I asked.