Hot Shit

Oh dear Baby Jesus!!

Its already 98 to 99 degrees here & I get sick with a fever of 102...

Remi: I'm actually hotter than it is outside!

Remi's Dad: Well how do you feel?

Remi: Like shit...literally...well actually more like liquid poo...but you get the point.

Remi's dad proceeds to hand her a bottle of Immodium....Remi then reads the label...

Remi: Dad...how do you know if your squirts have mucus in them? The label says I shouldn't take them if it contains mucus.

Remi's Dad: I'm sorry I gave you the Immodium

later the next day when speaking with several people to explain my absense from work and life...

Vogue: I'm sorry you're sick. Thats Crappy.

Remi: Seriously you're going to say its crappy?

Vogue: laughing...uh yeah

Remi: Well at least I lost about 10 pounds

I can't remember who I said this one to...it may have been my doctor...

Remi: Maybe I can write a book and call it the shitty diet. Just add heat and simmer.

now that I think about it...that last comment was made to my doctor. hmmm...