Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Who hasn't been there,
Who among us has never reached the end of a relationship,
Who else is willing to admit when things have gone down the crapper!

Alas, I am not speaking for myself on this one. I simply relay an observation and a conversation between myself and W.T Momma!

I have known WT for several years and over those years we have dated, almost freakishly bad men. So poor were our choices that we noticed a trend. The men would last so long as their real name did. As soon as a moniker was created, the nickname took over & the boy was ousted!

Recently WT decided to end a long term (2+ year relationship) but she broke the rule. We discovered this as we fondly reminisced over a bottle of wine. This last one was being dumped without a nickname. The situation was quickly remedied. In honor of those whom we have dumped...a short but recent list:

The Spitter - A man who love to spit on women & have them reciprocate...in bed.
Shi Shi Boy - A boy who earned his nickname based on the Hawaiian name for urinating.
Grandpa - Really, the nickname really explains it all.
Pussy Lover - Lover of actual cats...always looking to socialize the little animals, but forgets all about the figurative kitty when the time comes.
NRA Guy - A man, allegedly an adult, most prized possession in his bedroom...a Potato Launcher!
Karate Kid - He can kick a fly off the top of your head but can't do much more.
Mr. Too Tired - Can't be civil enough to stay awake & not complain about being tired at a loved one's funeral

& last but not least...the most recent inductee to the dumpee hall of fame...
GOMER! He just can't help but shoot a pigeon (aka roof rat) off the roof of a home, immediately rip its head off, pluck it, toss it in the micro for 30 seconds and chow on down!

In summary I'd like to say (can't remember where this toast came from sorry)

Here's to the Men who've won us, the losers who've lost us, and the lucky bastards who've yet to meet us!