Because I'm stupid, that's why

Top 5 Reasons to not do 4 Jaeger Bombs in a row

5. That horrible aftertaste is remarkably similar to Dimetapp.
4. Find yourself asking that question you swore you'd never ask again, "How did I get home?"
3. Lewd dancing without expecting $20 (or for that matter $1) bills.
2. You find yourself talking politics AND religion for over an hour with some guy you just met and will never see again but you find yourself thinking that the two of you could come up with a plan to run the country - and the world - better than any past or present regime.
1. You have to check the "outgoing call" log on your phone to find out who you dialed-while-drunk.