Voicemails

Remi to friend (while still at the bar)
"Hey we're all over at Rock Bottom...you need to come out and join us to help judge if these guys really do have rock bottoms!"

(normally wouldn't be so bad...however the lack of intelligence granted by alcohol somehow caused the fingers to dial my friend's home phone vs. her cell phone and this message was therefore picked up and relayed back to said friend via her son)



Remi to Roxy
call #1 phone rings to voicemail...too drunk to remember why I had called or what message was left. Just noted that her voicemail rudely cut me off.
call #2 made immediately after call #1 was cut off abruptly.
Roxy: "If your not dead or have a body part missing I'm going to Fucking cut your head off"
Remi: "You're going to fucking cut my head off" (said while whimpering & immediately hanging up)


Vogue to Virginia friend

(sung at top of lungs)
"Good Golly Miss Molly... she sure likes to bone"