Santa Claus is Coming to Feel You Up

Remi and I are Buddy Check partners. Sometimes (monthly, if I'm good) I send her emails reminding her to check for lumps. Since it's December, I decided to be Christmas themed:

(sung a la Bruce Springsteen's version of Santa Claus is Comin' To Town)

You better watch out
You better hold 'em high
You better throw them out
I'm telling you why

Santa is gonna feel you up
Santa is gonna feel you up
And if he doesn't
You should...

He knows there a risk
So he's checkin' you twice
Gonna find out
If your lumpy or just right

Santa is gonna feel you up
Santa is gonna feel you up
And if he doesn't
You should...

Lumps can form when your sleeping
They can be there when your awake
Most likely their harmless, little things
But you better check 'em out for goodness sake
(Yeah, you better check 'em out for goodness sake)

Oh you better watch out
You better hold 'em high
You better feel yourself up
I'm telling you why

No breast lumps in 2006
No breast lumps in 2007
No breast lumps ever,
my friend.